Love, Sex, Power
(Self Portrait 2001)
I also accessed ancient yoga practices to help me ignite, manage, contain and ride these waves from heated beginnings to light, even bliss filled arrivals. Psychic skills erupted, too, enabling my subtle awareness to grow in leaps and bounds.
Like many newcomers, I was obsessed with ecstatic experience, looking for ecstatic passageways in solitude, with a lover, with the Natural world. Simultaneously, I was seized by a call to shamanic practice, to recognize and reclaim my “wildish” self and to traipse “between the worlds. This required that I be a frequent visitor to life’s abyss, to my edges and shadows, both personally and professionally. I began to wear the cloak of Healer. Professionally there was a theme: most of my clients had suffered psychic injuries to their deep sense of womanhood and manhood. I would be facing my own in the process. Sex and erotic matters were on the front burner, along with the idea of Self Realization, enlightenment, Wholeness.
By the mid 90s, I had also become very familiar with a number of ancient “gods and goddesses”, those that live in “every woman” and “every man.” I was especially drawn to Venus-Aphrodite (from the Roman-Greek archives): the goddess of love, beauty, sensuality and sexuality. Coming from a repressed and ungainly upbringing, I was an ugly duckling seeking her swan self.
Living at the time in north county San Diego, I had a small, coed group of friends who met regularly to support each other’s well being, spiritual growth, and need for spontaneous play. I was fortunate that my playmates were educated, dedicated and creative partners, agile in mind, body and spirit. One afternoon, meeting at my house, somehow the subject of my emerging ability to “channel” non physical beings or “energies” came up. I was challenged to channel readings for each of my friends. Having talked a fair amount about my fascination with the alchemical, transformational aspects of The Love Goddess, calling Her out to speak through me seemed, well, like the obvious choice.
I stood up while my friends sat on the floor and asked questions that I as Aphrodite might respond to. What transpired was fabulous, phenomenal and totally unanticipated. It was as though I temporarily became Her myself. Yet, since she was using my “instrument” to express through, here on the physical plane, this She-and-I combination was a new creation, a blend of energies, focused on the soul Messages within carnal desires.
What I remember today, and what I still feel whenever she “comes through me,” is the magnificent grace of seeing and understanding everyone as uniquely beautiful, sexy and gifted as lovers in their own way. I can experience what can make-anyone attractive, desireable, special. I see through the outer guises into the soul of that particular man or woman (or youth) that wants to be fully expressed as only that feminine or masculine expression of the Divine could be. The sense-abilities of the Beautiful One allow us to know Beauty in each of us. So, each question asked of Aphrodite becomes a prayer: to be loved, cherished, respected, appreciated, needed or desired just as we are. She responds with the eyes, ears and touch of the Beloved, one mystical lover to another, with Life itself, Creator, the Divine as inspiration.
At least She does, when She comes through a channel that is spiritually-based.
I cherish my opportunities to “read” others from Her perspective. In that escape from space-time “reality,” I’m empowered to love myself, as well as others, to be happy in my own skin, and inspired to love more perfectly.
With the guidance provided from the Icon of intimate, romantic ways, all great dreams of love making seem ours for asking. Low self esteem and anxieties melt away, leaving our bodies and hearts freer to do what they naturally know how to do, without hang ups, with unstressed abandon. “Intimacy,” closeness and self revealing becomes the natural norm.
Behind each question my friends asked years ago was a prayer from the heart, often hidden in the folds of the question. “Do you see me getting back together with my girlfriend?” “What do you see as my best feature?” “How can I reach orgastic heights?!” At the heart, all questions ask to touch into what might make us really alive, really present to the moment, full and brimming, Connected.
I am alive to the possibilities of exploring how this is so, with your questions, with mine, and with the unique opportunities we create together, with Aphrodite, Venus, Goddess of love, sensuality and sexuality and Beauty.
Here I am. Here we are!
To view a partial collection of Marcia's artworks, go to http://www.lovearts.info/hartworkx.html